This tiny little phrase sounds so cute and trite. “To flow you have to let go.” You might say “Duh!” I know I’ve thought that.
And yet that has been the lesson of my summer, starting in Glacier National Park when I first had to let go of the fact that I’d be continuing my 4 ½ month trip in Van Go around the States, visiting the national parks.
Yeah, that got nixed. In a heart beat.
Back spasms. Emergency Room. Valium and Hydrocodone. A three day stay with new friends in Whitefish MT all helped me “get it” that I was NOT going on the epic journey in the 1982 VW Camper Van.
As I turned to head home, I still clung to the idea that I could at least do a partial trip. I’d get body work. I’d “get better” to see at least the Western National Parks.
Then the hamstring insertion point pinching materialized and I could barely walk around our park without throbbing pain in my ass.
Hmmmmm. Pain in my ass. I had to wonder. Was I being my own pain in my ass.
So I turned to my art studio. Started playing with color. Mixing new colors. Making new shapes. Cutting up potatoes and dipping slices in paint and making marks on the canvas.
FUN. I was having fun despite the discomfort in my body.
OK. I’d stay home. For a while. Still compromising with life, until it dawned on me that I wasn’t going to be going ANYWHERE. At least driving in a Van, with a stick shift.
More painting. More color mixing. More blasting the tunes and dancing around in my studio and creating paintings.
More Fun. I was having fun. I let go. Of my agenda. Of feeling bad about myself for not going on this “epic” (at least in MY mind) trip. Ok, perhaps I could just accept the new path. That I’d been giving the gift of time to paint.
The lesson, however, did not stop there. It continues each time I start a new painting. I notice I enjoy the art process MORE when I let go and get out of my own way and just DO what’s fun. DO what I love to do.
So, my friends, I close out summer feeling grateful that “my” plans didn’t work out and that some higher order got me into my studio and I was able to see that despite myself, this was a great plan the Universe gave me!
My trip turned from the Van Go trip into the Van Gogh Trip!!